Fickle Me

“I look in the mirror each day & feel different about the way I look... 1 day I feel I look pretty another day comes and I feel ugly! Why is it like this?” - sotchick. Extract from funadvice.com internet help forum.

Sotchick is confused by what she really thinks of her self. One day she holds one attitude but the next day her attitude is entirely different. It might be enough to make Sotchick question who she really is. If today you have the sense of being someone completely different to the person you were yesterday, which day matters more? Which is the ‘real you’?

A friend of mine was in a similar situation some time ago. He suffered from switching from truly believing his relationship with a girlfriend was great and so was she, to wanting to break it all off completely. This looked as though it could happen in a matter of hours. So, how should he decide which is his real belief or attitude and what should he do? This blog will discuss how the world can seem completely different from one day to the next and how it may be relevant in the long term.

To suggest that we can be completely different from one day to the next is something of an exaggeration. Our personalities and traits don’t normally change from day to day. In general, extroverts will be outgoing on Wednesdays as well as Saturdays and, if you’ve got plenty of self esteem, you will probably believe in yourself regardless of whether it is raining or snowing. Yet, the examples outlined earlier underline how the effect of the moment can be somewhat disconcerting. Such ambivalence and flipping to and from different beliefs and behaviours can make us question the coherent view we have of ourselves.

Mood is one of the reasons why we can feel differently from moment to moment. Obviously when in a good mood you feel rather happy and in a bad mood you feel the inverse. Yet, the indirect effects that mood can have can be particularly important. For example, there is good evidence of mood-congruent memory retrieval.

Studies examining mood-congruent memory test the speed at which, and the number of positive or negative memories that participants recall when made to feel in a pleasant or unpleasant mood. To evoke these changes in mood the researchers normally have participants watch a pleasant or unpleasant film or piece of music etc. The general findings are that when in a positive mood, positive memories are recalled much quicker and in greater number.

These effects are well replicated; when in a bad mood we almost automatically retrieve negative memories and also react to events more negatively. Thus, if you happen to be evaluating whether your job is what you really want to be doing when in a particularly good mood, there is a chance your evaluation will be different to another day’s evaluation. Positive thoughts about your job come more easily and are factored into the decision making process. This could prove problematic if you make the decision there and then, as it may not be the most representative evaluation. The converse can be said about trying to work out things when in a low mood; it can all seem impossible.

A more level-headed approach, evaluating important decisions across several times, would seem most sensible. But it can often be all too easy to make rash decisions based on present thoughts. Especially when you have an erection.

The worrying amount of sexually transmitted diseases is a good example of this. People meet and things get heated, but don’t end up using a condom. The moment is too passionate and although when asked outside of the bedroom whether they think using condoms are a good idea they will say ‘‘yes’’ and that they intend to do so, in the heat of the moment they choose not to. Indeed, there is good reason to believe our attitudes can be very different in and out of bed.

M.I.T.’s Dan Ariely reports interesting study concerning how people can differ from moment to moment, with potentially disastrous consequences. Participants answered a series of questions across two sessions: in the first session (the ‘cold session’) they were asked to imagine themselves sexually aroused and then answer questions on a laptop such as ‘Would you keep trying to have sex with your date after they say “no”?’ and ‘Would you always use a condom if you didn’t know the sexual history of a new sexual partner?’. Here comes the fun part - in the second session (the ‘hot session’), the male participants were asked to take home the laptop and complete the same questions, but whilst masturbating to pornography provided by the researchers. This is psychology at its best and if you doubt it, this is a very real study (published in The Journal of Behavioural Decision Making).

Desires to partake in these dangerous sexual activities were dramatically higher when in an aroused state. Furthermore, even though participants answered the questions imagining being aroused in the ‘cold state’ there was still a massive discrepancy between answers in the two sessions. This suggests that a) our current state has a big influence on us and b) we underestimate the effect of current state.

So what is the significance of all this? First of all, there is good reason to believe that from moment to moment our attitudes and behaviour can differ. In the case of serious decisions and actions that will have long term implications, perhaps we should evaluate and make judgements over several occasions before making any decisions.

Furthermore, perhaps considering whether we would feel similarly happy about a decision or action on another day before acting would result in better decision-making.

For much of life the effect transitory feelings probably isn’t a real problem. For example, you have to make quick decisions when in a restaurant and it would not be convenient to wait and decide on the basis of several inferences whether ordering a starter is a good idea. Yet, when the stakes have longer term implications (i.e. disease) and we think current state might be playing a role (i.e. her hand is on my crotch), then consideration probably is needed.

Not particularly useful or serious application:

Sleeping on important things is a good idea after all.

Be aware how mood or current state can affect judgement, and make use of it:
Wait for friends to be in a good mood before asking for help.

Don’t make major life decision whilst masturbating.

Sotchick – You are beautiful to all of us.