Fickle Me

“I look in the mirror each day & feel different about the way I look... 1 day I feel I look pretty another day comes and I feel ugly! Why is it like this?” - sotchick. Extract from funadvice.com internet help forum.

Sotchick is confused by what she really thinks of her self. One day she holds one attitude but the next day her attitude is entirely different. It might be enough to make Sotchick question who she really is. If today you have the sense of being someone completely different to the person you were yesterday, which day matters more? Which is the ‘real you’?

A friend of mine was in a similar situation some time ago. He suffered from switching from truly believing his relationship with a girlfriend was great and so was she, to wanting to break it all off completely. This looked as though it could happen in a matter of hours. So, how should he decide which is his real belief or attitude and what should he do? This blog will discuss how the world can seem completely different from one day to the next and how it may be relevant in the long term.

To suggest that we can be completely different from one day to the next is something of an exaggeration. Our personalities and traits don’t normally change from day to day. In general, extroverts will be outgoing on Wednesdays as well as Saturdays and, if you’ve got plenty of self esteem, you will probably believe in yourself regardless of whether it is raining or snowing. Yet, the examples outlined earlier underline how the effect of the moment can be somewhat disconcerting. Such ambivalence and flipping to and from different beliefs and behaviours can make us question the coherent view we have of ourselves.

Mood is one of the reasons why we can feel differently from moment to moment. Obviously when in a good mood you feel rather happy and in a bad mood you feel the inverse. Yet, the indirect effects that mood can have can be particularly important. For example, there is good evidence of mood-congruent memory retrieval.

Studies examining mood-congruent memory test the speed at which, and the number of positive or negative memories that participants recall when made to feel in a pleasant or unpleasant mood. To evoke these changes in mood the researchers normally have participants watch a pleasant or unpleasant film or piece of music etc. The general findings are that when in a positive mood, positive memories are recalled much quicker and in greater number.

These effects are well replicated; when in a bad mood we almost automatically retrieve negative memories and also react to events more negatively. Thus, if you happen to be evaluating whether your job is what you really want to be doing when in a particularly good mood, there is a chance your evaluation will be different to another day’s evaluation. Positive thoughts about your job come more easily and are factored into the decision making process. This could prove problematic if you make the decision there and then, as it may not be the most representative evaluation. The converse can be said about trying to work out things when in a low mood; it can all seem impossible.

A more level-headed approach, evaluating important decisions across several times, would seem most sensible. But it can often be all too easy to make rash decisions based on present thoughts. Especially when you have an erection.

The worrying amount of sexually transmitted diseases is a good example of this. People meet and things get heated, but don’t end up using a condom. The moment is too passionate and although when asked outside of the bedroom whether they think using condoms are a good idea they will say ‘‘yes’’ and that they intend to do so, in the heat of the moment they choose not to. Indeed, there is good reason to believe our attitudes can be very different in and out of bed.

M.I.T.’s Dan Ariely reports interesting study concerning how people can differ from moment to moment, with potentially disastrous consequences. Participants answered a series of questions across two sessions: in the first session (the ‘cold session’) they were asked to imagine themselves sexually aroused and then answer questions on a laptop such as ‘Would you keep trying to have sex with your date after they say “no”?’ and ‘Would you always use a condom if you didn’t know the sexual history of a new sexual partner?’. Here comes the fun part - in the second session (the ‘hot session’), the male participants were asked to take home the laptop and complete the same questions, but whilst masturbating to pornography provided by the researchers. This is psychology at its best and if you doubt it, this is a very real study (published in The Journal of Behavioural Decision Making).

Desires to partake in these dangerous sexual activities were dramatically higher when in an aroused state. Furthermore, even though participants answered the questions imagining being aroused in the ‘cold state’ there was still a massive discrepancy between answers in the two sessions. This suggests that a) our current state has a big influence on us and b) we underestimate the effect of current state.

So what is the significance of all this? First of all, there is good reason to believe that from moment to moment our attitudes and behaviour can differ. In the case of serious decisions and actions that will have long term implications, perhaps we should evaluate and make judgements over several occasions before making any decisions.

Furthermore, perhaps considering whether we would feel similarly happy about a decision or action on another day before acting would result in better decision-making.

For much of life the effect transitory feelings probably isn’t a real problem. For example, you have to make quick decisions when in a restaurant and it would not be convenient to wait and decide on the basis of several inferences whether ordering a starter is a good idea. Yet, when the stakes have longer term implications (i.e. disease) and we think current state might be playing a role (i.e. her hand is on my crotch), then consideration probably is needed.

Not particularly useful or serious application:

Sleeping on important things is a good idea after all.

Be aware how mood or current state can affect judgement, and make use of it:
Wait for friends to be in a good mood before asking for help.

Don’t make major life decision whilst masturbating.

Sotchick – You are beautiful to all of us.

Show Me The Money

Money is fairly important, so much so that we normally have to dedicate eight hours a day of our life to get hold of it. It is a major shaping force in our lives. More is generally perceived as better and whilst a lot can buy nice holidays, cars and gifts, a lack of it can also cause jealousy and annoyance. It isn’t uncommon to overhear all sorts of people suggesting that, ‘if I just had a bit more money, life would be a lot better’. But is money and wealth all that good? In a lot of situations the answer is obviously yes. You couldn’t function without food, water, the internet or designer clothes. And money buys all these things. But the question of whether money can buy happiness is more interesting (or at least I think it is). Depending on your view point you may believe it does or you may buy into the age old cliché that money can’t buy you happiness and because of it the world is full of Ebenezer Scrooge characters. However, both are somewhat off the mark. This blog discusses what research tends to shows concerning money and happiness and how we might be able to make the most of our earnings.

There has been a fair amount of research examining the relationship between wealth and life-satisfaction. It has generally come to rather unimpressive conclusions. In developed countries, income only tends to explain 2-5% of variance in individuals ratings of wellbeing (measures of well being tend to ask individuals how satisfied they are with life or what their ‘general happiness’ is). This really isn’t very much and what this suggests is that income may play only a very small role in shaping happiness. Furthermore, there is some suggestion that these small effects are largely the result of the very poor being very unhappy because of bad living conditions. So, when you have enough money to live comfortably (i.e. being able to afford to read blogs on the internet) the effect money has on happiness gets tiny; A 40k a year job being no better than a 55k job in terms of promoting greater life satisfaction and happiness.

If massive increases in happiness are unlikely to follow an increase in bank account size, then why do people work themselves into the ground? A 2003 survey commissioned by Boys and Girls Clubs of America found that the majority of parents surveyed had little or no time, or wished they had more time to spend with their children. The major reason given for this was their work schedules. In addition, a study by Kahneman and colleagues (2006) showed that individuals with higher incomes do not spend more of their day partaking in enjoyable activities anymore so than individuals with lower incomes. The two did however differ in the amount of stress they tended to experience during the day, with the higher earners feeling significantly more stressed out.

Esteemed research psychologist Martin Seligman also cites research that shows, although lawyers (who work notoriously long and hard hours) are one of the best paid professions in the US, they are also one of the unhappiest. With one of the highest depression rates of all professions and significantly more alcohol and family problems than non lawyers. Thus, as well as doing little for us in terms of happiness, in some instances our drive for money may even encourage unhappiness.

Now we know that money is unlikely to provide us with everlasting happiness, two potentially even more interesting questions that follow on from this are:-

a) why do we continue to chase it regardless?
b) is there anything we can do with it to make us happier or more content with life?

One obvious reason as to why we may continue to chase money is that we are simply mistaken and believe that more money = more happiness. But it is probable that there are also other things going on. Another explanation is that we are trying to satisfy other needs with money. Our need for social approval and status may be particularly relevant. Advertisements are everywhere and generally teach us that money is normally associated with respect from peers and a symbol of success. Our heroes and role models in society don’t tend to be working in Somerfield and tend to wear quite expensive clothes. It is therefore likely that an implicit association between money, power, success and respect can’t help but be formed. These desires are strong; everybody likes to be seen as someone important and valued, and earning high wages is a way to achieve this. The way this may work is akin to the fashionable status of obesity during the reigns of the likes of Henry VIII. A bulging waist line was a sign of wealth and thus revered. Today, earning lots of money is associated with success and importance and therefore likely to be similarly revered.

But can we make any use of the money we have or should we just throw it all away then? The fact that money has been shown to have a small influence on life satisfaction would suggest that if used wisely, maybe it can enrich our lives. Luckily there is evidence of this; Gardner & Oswald (2007) followed UK citizens that were lucky enough to win between £1000 and £120,000 in lottery draws. Compared to control groups these winners showed a greater improvement in mental wellbeing 2 years later at follow up. So how did they do it? Regrettably the study can’t answer this question because they only tracked mental well being and not what they actually did with the money. But work by University of Columbia’s Elizabeth Dunn may provide some clues as to how money could be used to promote well being.

What would make you happier? Spending money on yourself or others? In a 2008 study Dunn gave participants $5 or $20 in the morning and asked to either spend the money on themselves or someone else/a worthy cause. Their happiness was then measured later on in the day. The findings were encouraging for those that are kind hearted. Spending the money on others resulted in individuals feeling much happier at the end of the day and even more interestingly the amount spent had little effect on mood. Spending $20 dollars on your self is seemingly no more rewarding than spending $5. Dunn also reports data that suggests individuals that have a habit of spending money on others tend to be happier than their miserly counterparts. Using ones money for good seems even more appealing now.

Application

Quit your grad schemes with Price Waterhouse Coopers and do something worthwhile with your life.

Feel sorry for lawyers; they may be rolling in money, but they are miserable alcoholics with failing families.

Find a job you feel enriched by and you value as important. This is far more likely to be satisfying than whatever career happens to currently be bringing in big bucks.

Feel there is now good reason to help starving children in Africa or to buy family members birthday presents.